Carli's Ferocious Fours were hitting our house pretty hard and these parents were about at their wits end as to how to best handle the defiance and attitude not to mention the emotional roller coaster. After talking and searching and getting some insight from a few experts (AKA grandparents), we decided to try a little coin system that we read about online. More than likely I saw it on pinterest and forgot to pin it. We took this idea of making each girl six coins of something that she values. Each day she starts of with six coins. If she is defiant, talks back or does not behave she loses a coin. She earns back the coin when she is polite, minds when first asked to do something or is caught being nice. At the end of each day if all six coins are still in her possession she earns a sticker. When she gets ten stickers, she earns a surprise.
We decided the first ten days we would make a real effort to make sure Carli earned all six coins by the end of the day b/c we wanted her to understand that if she works hard at something she will earn something in return. We did not want her to be discouraged by the process. Ava pretty much earns a sticker when Carli does. She does not quite understand the concept. She will happily hand over her coins like she is giving you a present and go on her way like she hasn't a care in the world!
Carli helped me make the charts for both she and Ava. Carli's coins have princesses on them. We went online and she picked out the pictures she wanted to use. She picked out their backgrounds and pretty much directed the whole creative process. I think it helped to have her involved with making her chart. She is proud of it. Her favorite coin is her Sleeping Beauty coin. Threaten to take away Sleeping Beauty and Carli will pretty much do anything you ask. :) When we have had to resort to taking away Sleeping Beauty the crying that ensues is very pitiful. Ava's chart has Dora and Diego coins. Ava really doesn't have a "favorite" of anything right now, so we kind of went with what we knew she could identify easily!
It took about 14 days for the girls to earn their first surprise. They were so excited when they got their tenth sticker. They are always asking to go to the ice cream restaurant (Braums) so we took them the next day to have ice cream for lunch. We let them pick out whatever they wanted, soft serve with whipped cream. They thoroughly enjoyed getting to eat ice cream!
Since their first surprise at the end of October, the girls have earned two more surprises. Carli has really responded to this system and it helps us as parents too to make sure we are pointing out the positive in her behavior instead of seemingly always pointing out the negative.
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